You'll never understand...

Takin' the red pill; bein' the one unplugged from The Matrix
But stuck in the fakeness
Tusslin' fate and runnin' from agents
Standin' on the roof of skyscrapers and jumpin' when faithless
Facin' the plunge to the pavement; I'm just touchin' the basics
Don't try and bend the spoon; that's impossible
Bending the spoon is just a deeper metaphor for any massive obstacle
The truth is, you spoon-less and you only bendin' yourself
Meaning the only task is conquer you; adjust and better yourself
But 33 years wit' nothin' to show for it
The struggle stole my drive like it's nothin' to chauffeur it
My mind tellin' me that I'm so worthless
Like a horny nigga wit' a foot fetish browsin' the web, it got me soul searchin'
I made mistakes that I can't erase, but too ashamed to state
Afraid to face
So my gaze fixate where you constrain your laces
The pain is weighin' on me like Damon; that's in a major way
Hawkins, Indiana the Upside Down; my brain a stranger place
After thinkin' I'm a burden and finally lettin' go of things inside and hurtin'
My mind is workin' like Tyler Durden when findin' purpose
Projectin' mayhem
Destroyin' the illusion of what's success to Layman
Sidesteppin' contentment, to reach your destination
Knowin' death is waitin'
Wit' arms stretched and impatient
And you not your savior's special creation, so no breath is wasted
Only after caressin' the depths can we resurrect and then change it
Freedom from the stress of expected, the rejection and hatred
I'd pop to fit in
But like the intrinsic field locked when the watch was in it
I'm met wit' Jon Osterman ostracism
The clock is tickin'
Recluse 'till I'm disconnected
Refrain from sendin' texts
Prayin' she get the message; she never do
I sold my stock in women
Teleported to Mars; on a rock, I'm sittin'
While I plot, revisit the lack of comprehension
Dodgin' the opposition
Wishin' that the tocks were different
Tachyons block my vision; drop the picture and jot this written

You'll never understand, nigga
You'll never get it